Second time around really sucks

I'm starting to really feel the grind of two major surgeries, 4 rounds of BEP and so far 2 rounds of Adria. I've lost 10lbs from not eating well, and my energy is really starting to drop (Nadir Week#2).

Part of me wishes I could just quit and get healthy. All I want is to feel normal and get to ride my bike again.

The worst part is that this chemo is really a stab in the dark. No one knows whether it will work to keep a new sarcoma tumor from presenting or not. Kind of hard to keep your focus when there is that kind of doubt.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not quitting and I'm going to push through this regimen. This is just the real emotions and feelings of a survivor in my situation. I want everyone to know what it takes to fight through this crap. The emotional, mental, and physical strain is overwhelming at times.